Preaching a Funeral For An Unbeliever

Yes, I am actually posting.   It’s been a long while since I’ve posted–good to be back.

On occasion, I am asked to preach a funeral for one who has died without Christ.  The first time I encountered this difficulty was actually before I became a pastor.  My uncle died as an avowed atheist who had rejected Christ up until the end.  He died unexpectedly.  I remember my parents telling me how sad and hollow the service was, because he had rejected any notion of the afterlife.

For the pastor, a great tension exists.  On the one hand, you have grieving family members and friends who want the funeral to be about the deceased’s earthly life.  On the other hand, the Scriptures are clear about the reality of their eternal life (or death, as the case may be).   How does the minister of the gospel of Christ handle this?

Always acknowledge and validate the deceased’s life. This person is someone’s grandfather, grandmother, father, mother, son, daughter, etc.  In other words, this person was greatly loved and will be missed.   A lifetime of memories are stored on the bookshelves on their minds.  A myriad of pictures may be displayed by the casket representing a lifetime of events and experiences.  These cannot and should not be denied, even in light of their refusal to receive Christ in this life.

Develop a close relationship/friendship with the family of the deceased. Whatever the reason they asked you to do the funeral (such as:  you were the only one to visit them at their home or in the hospital; they looked you up in the phone book; you are the pastor of a relative, etc.), you must take time to get to know the family personally.  Visit them in their home, call them, go to the viewing at the funeral home or church.  Your presence speaks volumes.  You are not to simply arrive and preach your message.  You come alongside them and help share their grief and bear their burdens.  And you will be amazed at how they appreciate your presence and will lean on you for support.  At that point, you are as Christ to them by virtue of your calling into the Gospel ministry.  Which leads me to the next point… .

Remember your ultimate calling as a minister of the gospel of Christ, even in this situation.  In the course of your visits and conversations with the family, you will find yourself tempted to lessen the blow of the deceased’s eternal reality — something which can happen easier that it initially appears.  The family is so grieved and despondent that, even in light of the deceased’s apathy or even outright rejection of Christ, may comfort themselves in thinking that the deceased is in “a better place.”  The alternative of believing someone they loved so dearly is suffering eternal judgment in hell may be too much to bear.

But even so, we have a higher calling.  The funeral is for those in attendance, not just the one in the casket.   Remind those in attendance of this fact, then show them the comfort that may be found.  How?  “Preach Christ crucified!”  The reality of Christ must break through the muddle of thoughts that are settling in their grief-stricken minds.  While they may comfort themselves that many other issues and thoughts, family and friends, and fill in the blank — in reality, the only comfort that may be found in any circumstance or situation is in Christ.  We must not turn away or be ashamed of Christ, even if it means breaking through their sensibilities of what the ‘afterlife.’

I have put out some other posts on preaching a funeral:

Scriptures I Use For Funeral Services

Practical Tips For Preaching a Funeral

Any other thoughts on this matter?

Pray For Me — Leading a Pastor’s Conference in Trinidad

On January 16-17, 2009, I will be leading a pastor’s conference in Trinidad. The theme will be “Stewards of the Gospel” and will march through 1 and 2 Timothy. I am excited about this, but also excited about a possible book that may come from this. Roddie Taylor, pastor of the Mt. Beulah Evangelical Baptist Church in Point Fortin, and I are working on writing a book for Trinidadian/Caribbean pastors in the area of preaching and pastoring biblically. Many pastors are being greatly and harmfully influenced by the TBN model which spreads the heresy that faithfulness means that God will bring material blessing. So we will be talking to a number of pastors and ministers, doing research and leg work for this book.

We would appreciate your prayers!

The Razor’s Edge of Pastoring, Part II

Another razor’s edge of pastoring is that I would shepherd the flock of God willingly!  In other words, pray that I would not see my calling as a pastor simply as a job, as something I do to pay the bills.  Pray that God would grant me and guard in me a hart that is one who desires to love, serve, preach to and shepherd this church.  Pray that nothing would take away the joy found in Jesus!  Pray that I would work willingly, not just being self-motivated but God-motivated, Christ-motivated, Word-motivated.   Pray that computers, phone calls, worry, lack of rest, and a myriad of other issues would not divert me from the crux of my calling: preaching and teaching the Word of God.

(If you would like to read Part I of this series, click here.)

The Razor’s Edge Balance of a Pastor, Part I

Summary: Have the emergent church folks got it right in saying that pastors shouldn’t not exert any type of ecclesiastical authority in the church, or have the more formal churches got it right when they try to separate themselves from their flock? This is the razor’s edge balance that pastors must find.

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First of all, let me say how glad I am to be back. Cindy and I went to Florida to celebrate our 10th anniversary. My sister let us use one of her timeshares at the Ron Jon Cape Caribe Resort in Port Canaveral. Then we went to St. Augustine about two hours north, then we went south to see some old friends in Clewiston. I had the privilege and the honor of preaching at the First Baptist Church of Clewiston where I served as Minister of Music and Youth from 1998-2001.

While down there, I really had an opportunity to revisit the place where God called me into the preaching ministry. I obtained my B.S. in Church Music from Palm Beach Atlantic University in 1994, then went to the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary to obtain my Master of Church Music, which I received in 1997. I went to FBC-Clewiston right after in March of 1998. I planned on having a long and wonderful ministry among those wonderful people.

God had other plans. A call to preach. Back to seminary. Serving in small churches. Children on the way. Times of joy and times of strain. While in Clewiston, we were financially set and were saving money like crazy. Since, with children and school, finances have been ultra-tight. Yet, being in God’s will has been a tremendous blessing and joy.

As I was pondering this, along with a sermon series I’ll be doing on Church Membership, along with my DMin project which seeks to make the case for the local church to take up the mantle of training preachers, I came across again for the first time (you know what I mean, right?) 1 Peter 5:1-4:

So I exhort the elders among you, as a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, as well as a partaker in the glory that is going to be revealed: [2] shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; [3] not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock. [4] And when the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory (ESV).

I asked the flock at Boone’s Creek Baptist Church here in Lexington, KY, to read this passage and craft it into a prayer for me that I would be able to navigate the razor’s edge of pastoring and preaching.

Pray That I Would Shepherd Diligently

Churches and the people of God are often referred to in the Word of God as a flock of sheep. Wiersbe helped me realize that sheep are clean and tend to flock together (a good thing) but have a tendency to stray, desiring to go their own way. Sheep are defenseless and in need of protection.

As so Jesus as our Great Shepherd has placed undershepherds to serve in shepherding the flock of God.Jesus, as he is in heaven working among the churches (Revelation 1:9-20), initiated his church in such a way that he places pastors (undershepherds) to oversee the people of God. Paul tells young Timothy in 1 Tim. 3:1-2

The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. [2] Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach.

I would read over this passage and think, “God, no way! Keep me as a music and youth minister, but do not call me as a fellow sinner — and a young fellow sinner at that — to oversee a people.” So for 18 months I wrestled. Yet the Hound of Heaven would not leave me alone! Finally, he brought me to a point where I finally submitted and left Clewiston to return to seminary training and a new area of minister.

Shepherds are not always called on to maintain the peace — sometimes that rod of staff is not just for comfort but for correction! Shepherds of God have a tough balance — pastors are among the sheep as the people of God, but also “over” the flock.

Yet, some pastors swing one way or the other. Some reject having authority, as the emergent church folks tend to do, and say, “It’s not about us having authority, but merely facilitating.” Yet, we are overseers. Hebrews 13:17 addresses this:

Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.

As you can see, it takes prayerful study of God’s Word and a high degree of character to find the God-ordained balance he seeks.

(Tomorrow: Part II — Pray That I Would Shepherd Willingly)

To The Young Pastor (Tabletalk)

In the May 2008 edition of Tabletalk magazine from Ligonier Ministries, Ron Gleason (senior minister of Grace Presbyterian Church in Yorba Linda, CA, and founder of Renewed Life Ministries) contributes an excellent article aptly titled, “To the Young Pastor.” He gives five pieces of advice that are just spot on.

1. Preach expository sermons from both the Old and New Testaments. An excerpt: “The pastor is primarily called to proclaim the riches of Christ through the preaching of the Word and the clear exposition of Scripture. In this manner, he both equips the saints and prepares them to present the true, pure Gospel to the lost.”
2. A faithful pastor takes worship seriously. “To worship God rightly means to worship Him scripturally. The pastor and his congregation must pay careful attention to what God requires in His Word.”
3. Manage your time to the glory of God. “Far too many pastors waste precious time performing ever-nebulous “networking.” Time, once spent, cannot be regained.”
4. Maintain office hours and be approachable. “Make good use of your study and be available by phone, for personal visits, or a spontaneous ‘hello.’ My study door is almost always open and I enjoy people sticking their head in and saying hello.
5. Visit the flock. “It is a time of personal accountability, equipping, and teaching that is so often missing in today’s churches.”

The Driving Question of Faithful Preaching Ministries

I find myself pondering the place of the preaching ministry not just in the life of the church in general, but in my church in particular. Having been here almost five years, I am now seeing the importance and the cruciality of leading from the pulpit. The pastor is the primary vision-caster and mission developer of the church by virtue of his leadership status but also due to his studious diligence in his primary duty, preaching and teaching the Word. In Acts 6:1-4, we read:

Now in these days when the disciples were increasing in number, a complaint by the Hellenists arose against the Hebrews because their widows were being neglected in the daily distribution. [2] And the twelve summoned the full number of the disciples and said, “It is not right that we should give up preaching the word of God to serve tables. [3] Therefore, brothers, pick out from among you seven men of good repute, full of the Spirit and of wisdom, whom we will appoint to this duty. [4] But we will devote ourselves to prayer and to the ministry of the word” (Acts 6:1-4, ESV).

This oft-quoted passage really stresses the necessity of why “prayer and the ministry of the word” is so important. Prayer crafts our hearts to the framework of God’s will and way. The Word helps give us an objective anchor to the relevation of God through the person of Jesus Christ. The pastor is the intercessor and the point person for each local church assembly to connect with God and then in turn connect God’s people with God’s vision for them.

Ultimately, God’s vision for his church is found in Romans 8:28-29:

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. [29] For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.

God’s vision for his local church is to conform his people to Christlikeness. And the preaching ministry should and must drive every person and every other ministry to this pursuit.

Where churches encounter trouble is when we forget the ‘why’ of a particular ministry or program and simply get caught up in the ‘what.’ If a missions program exists, we are tempted to focus on the ‘what’ of that program and how we should have that program because its that program. But when asked ‘why,’ the response can be boiled down to the following: ‘Because this is what has always been done.’ It can be any other ministry in the church.

The pulpit ministry of a church should encourage Christlikeness and challenge the traditions, mindsets, and ministries of the church by asking this question: “How does this exalt Christ, His gospel, and the believer’s transformation to Christlikeness and (to be redundant) holiness?” Pastors must challenge their people in this, regardless of the age or influence of the church. When churches begin to lose sight of this, it is because their leaders have lost sight of this.

So pastors, use the pulpit for not only to faithfully exposit the Word of God, but prayerfully consider how to apply this to your individual people and to the corporate ministries of the church. Evaluate, question, challenge, encourage, love, support, motivate, compel, and pray over everything that takes place under the banner of your local church and, ultimately, the Lord Jesus Christ. Pastors must not be afraid to lead. Hebrews 13:17 says:

Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.

What think ye?

A Vacuum Tube From Your Study To The Pulpit And Back?

I am finding a crucial balance between studying the text (which is primary, of course) and studying your people — and not just the people in your congregation but also in your community. This morning, we had the privilege of doing what we call our Athens Neighborhood Blitz. We aimed to put an ESV New Testament, John Piper’s Fifty Reasons Why Christ Had to Die, a church flyer, and a VBS flyer in every home within a mile of our church. With a few exceptions, we succeeded — and in the process got the rush of being obedient to the Great Commission.

Preachers must understand basic hermeneutics, for sure. We must certainly “rightly divid[e] the Word of truth” (2 Timothy 2:15). But if you read the Apostle Paul’s letters, his heart beat for his people. He would address a specific issue at the beginning of his epistles, then would give some greetings at the end peppered with particular comments and instructions. Paul made it a priority to know his people as well. I suppose that is why I find myself content at a smaller church of 160-170. I have the opportunity to get to know the people here at Boone’s Creek. With that comes heartaches as well simply because you are more aware of individual issues.

There is a relative safety and comfort for the preacher who only studies His books and commentaries. But no where in the New Testament do we see the ministers cloistered away from the people. No, like Jesus, the apostles went to where the people were — and so must we.

One minister noted that he wished there were a vacuum tube going from his study to the pulpit and back. The implication is there — he wanted this so he wouldn’t have to be disturbed by people.

So the question is: can one be a great preacher but a terrible pastor? Are these two mutually exclusive? What think ye? (I think you already know what I think on the matter.)

I Can’t Wait For Sundays

No really — I can’t wait for Sundays to roll around. As a pastor, most everything that occurs during the week comes to a fine point on Sunday morning. As I consider Acts 6:4 where the disciples gave themselves primarily over to “prayer and the ministry of the Word,” I find that my main ministry is that of connecting with God in prayer and ministering the Word of God through preaching and teaching — everything else stems off these two ministries.

What is it about Sundays that excites me so?

(1) I get to see my church family. Though I have only been here at Boone’s Creek for 3 1/2 years, I have noticed various transitions. I started out as “the new guy” with everyone anticipating in the first year but staying at arms length, to becoming “the preacher” to now becoming their “pastor.” I am now being seen as one of the family. This takes time, trust, and lots of love in Christ.

(2) I get to preach God’s Word to God’s people. What a privilege! What a calling! To be able to open up His Word and know that this is His revelation to the world in general and to His people specifically is a thought I can scarcely contemplate. And to know that the Holy Spirit will take that Word and apply it to hearts and will make sure it accomplishes all that it desires to accomplish — goodness!

(3) I get to hear stories of what God is doing in hearts and minds of his people. One person receives Christ, another person grasps a truth God reveals, another shares their faith, another asks questions trying to understand how God lives and moves and has his being … and the list goes on. That is exciting!

(4) I get to pray with my people. We get to connect with God together, linking arms and advancing his kingdom during this spiritual warfare. Praying for those who are lost, who are sick, in the military, our government officials, our church staff and deacons, our college students, our outreach ministries, our churches with whom we are partnering, and on top of that praising God for who he is and what he has done!

These are just four of many. What other things make you look forward to being with your brothers and sisters on for Sunday morning worship?

Priceless Advice As a Young Pastor

I came to my church in 2003 at the age of 31 — by far, the youngest pastor they had had since the early 1980s. I had not quite finished my MDiv work at Southern Seminary, but I had already received a Master of Church Music from Palm Beach Atlantic University as well as having been in the ministry since 1992.

On Sunday nights, I am meeting with four other young men who feel a calling into the ministry. During our time together, they asked my advice on a number of things. I began to recall advice I received as a young pastor (and still do). I had received no shortage of advice as I entered my first full-time pastorate. And now that I am in my fifth year as a pastor and in my 17th year of ministry, I have started to accumulate some of that advice for young pastors that I would like to pass on to you (for what it’s worth).

1. Train yourself in personal holiness and godliness.

In 1 Tim. 4:7-8, Paul tells young Timothy: “Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths. Rather train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.” While a lesson here about the personal physical fitness of a pastor would apply, the fullness of personal holiness in the development of character in the pastor must not be missed. If a pastor is to serve as an “overseer” (1 Timothy 3:1) of a church, then the character we oversee in our people must also be found in ourselves (1 Timothy 3:2-7).

Do you not know that in a race all the runners compete, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. [25] Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. [26] So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. [27] But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified (1 Cor. 9:24-27).

2. Never, ever, ever stop learning once your academic work is completed.

Even when Paul was in jail and facing the end of his life, he urged Timothy: “When you come, bring the cloak that I left with Carpus and Troas, also the books, and above all the parchments” (2 Timothy 4:13). Paul had an insatiable appetite for study. Why? In 2 Timothy 2:15, we see the reason for the desire: “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth” (ESV). One of Paul’s greatest fears was getting the Word wrong. Yet his love for the Lord and his love for those to whom he preached. He knew life and death hung in the balance. He never stopped learning because he never stopped loving God or his people.

For Ezra had set his heart to study the Law of the LORD, and to do it and to teach his statutes and rules in Israel (Ezra 7:10).

3. When taking the pastorate of a church, take into consideration the age and geographic location of the church and institute change accordingly.

I had one church growth leader tell me, “If you want to institute change in a young church, it’s like turning around a Volkswagen in the parking lot. If you want to institute change in a historic (old) church, it’s like turning around a battleship in the Atlantic.” When I told one pastor friend of mine the age of my church (200+ years old), he told me not to institute any change at all the first year. I will need to gain the trust of the people. My friend Mark Combs just quoted something to me from Audrey Malphurs’ book “Being Leaders” that it takes five years in the church for people to begin seeing you as the leader. Wow!

Plus, in considering geographic location, rural areas are different than suburban areas which are different from urban areas, etc. So if you implement a program developed in Chicago in a small town heartland, it will not fit. Get to know your God, know His Word, spend time with the people, and quit trying to make each church a cookie-cutter of another or implement a program that is the equivalent of a broadcast feed to a bigger, more influential church. They called you as pastor. No short-cuts allowed!

First, I thank my God through Jesus Christ for all of you, because your faith is proclaimed in all the world. [9] For God is my witness, whom I serve with my spirit in the gospel of his Son, that without ceasing I mention you [10] always in my prayers, asking that somehow by God’s will I may now at last succeed in coming to you. [11] For I long to see you, that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to strengthen you— [12] that is, that we may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith, both yours and mine. [13] I want you to know, brothers, that I have often intended to come to you (but thus far have been prevented), in order that I may reap some harvest among you as well as among the rest of the Gentiles. [14] I am under obligation both to Greeks and to barbarians, both to the wise and to the foolish. [15] So I am eager to preach the gospel to you also who are in Rome (Romans 1:8-15, ESV).

4. Your ministry must never be divorced from the people. ‘Nuff said. After all, it is a ministry … to actual people … under the calling of the living God through Christ.

5. Never enter a pastorate looking ahead to the “next gig.” You risk missing the blessing of your current ministry and deprive the people of your full attention.

Some pastors see small churches like the minor leagues. They groom and hone their talents so they can “move up” to bigger and better. They risk wanting to be influential nationally or globally rather than locally among their own community. The issue has become so problematic that smaller churches now expect young pastors who have certain gifts to move on. “Oh, we’ll never be able to keep him here,” they say.

But isn’t that what our smaller churches need: stable leadership and those who love God, love the Word, love their people? When Paul wrote the Philippian church, “I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now” (Philippians 1:3-5, ESV) or when we writes the Colossian church, “We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, since we heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love that you have for all the saints, because of the hope laid up for you in heaven” (Colossians 1:3-5a, ESV) — we see how thankful Paul is for the people that God entrusted to his care.

We give thanks to God always for all of you, constantly mentioning you in our prayers, [3] remembering before our God and Father your work of faith and labor of love and steadfastness of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ (1 Thes. 1:2-3, ESV).

6. Craft your preaching around the themes of the Word of God first, not the felt needs of your people.

We know that God has given us His revelation. But when people come in to church with “felt needs,” we have to understand that our feelings are tinged with the Fall and that the Word of God will always penetrate and go deeper. The high risk of topical preaching is that the preacher begins with a person’s felt need, then looks to Scriptures to deal with surface issues. Yet, the high risk of expositional preaching is that we believe we can completely remove ourselves from our people and can preach to them without the establishment of any relationship. But I will say this, I would recommend expositional preaching coupled with embracing your people. This balance shows that, again, you love the Word and take it on God’s terms, but you also love your people. That way, when hard texts are preached, they know it is coming from someone who loves them where they are — but is also on a journey with them to help them be all they should be in Christ.

And I, when I came to you, brothers, did not come proclaiming to you the testimony of God with lofty speech or wisdom. [2] For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. [3] And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling, [4] and my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, [5] that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God (1 Corinthians 2:1-5).

Young pastors, please keep in mind that you must remain diligent and invest yourself in the work that God has for you. Don’t try to keep up with the Jones, but follow His Spirit. Don’t try to look first at the latest church growth plan — God’s already given us a sufficient plan found in the Scriptures.

Are You Pitching Tents or Looking for Greener Pastures?

Too many young pastors who are called to smaller churches are ready to leave as soon as they arrive on the field. They are looking for greener pastures, pastorates who have further reaching ministries, more influence, and a more comfortable living. It is rare among my contemporaries (I am 36 years old) to have one stay at a church for more than 3-5 years.

After reading “Breakout Churches,” I am even more convinced that if God truly called one to a particular ministry (small or large), then that minister should stay and invest a great deal of time in that ministry if the Lord wills it.

As The Rainer Group researched thousands of churches to see if any were breakout church (see the criteria from yesterday’s post), here’s another statistic that stood out to me.

• The average tenure of a breakout church leader exceeds twenty-one years.
• The average tenture of other churches is approximately four years.

The issues of why the tenure of pastors is so short is many and multi-faceted. Pastors leave for greener pastures, or to escape ultra-stressful situation due to the viciousness of the congregants, some others treat their pastors as CEOs expecting quick results. Look at what else Rainer says:

“And ironically, while these lay leaders demand quick results, they can be reluctant to give the pastor any authority to carry out the initiatives they expect to take place. The result is frustration for both parties. No wonder it is not uncommon to see pastors leave under pressure or even be forcefully terminated in such situations” (p. 58).

Now, long term pastorates are not the ultimate solution, but “I believe that long tenure is one of the key requisites for churches to move from mediocrity to goodness to greatness.” (58) Pastors too often leave at the first sign of conflict, but “breakout church leaders endured the pain and did not leave. They were tenacious. Their short-term pain brought long-term gains.”

Some of you who read this are seminary students, some of you are members of the church where I serve, some of you are friends in the ministry. I am convinced we should not be looking to grab the brass ring, but we should pour our heart and soul into the ministry where God has placed us. Preach the Word of God and love your people not as numbers but as just that … people — souls who need strengthening in Christ or souls who need Christ.

I hope that we as pastors are willing to pitch our tents in the pasture God’s placed us. Too many pastors will tell you — those greener pastures aren’t so green up close.